


Runaway Fat Cat

by Remembrance



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Adorkable, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Awkward Flirting, Awkward Romance, Bad Humor, Cats, Comedy, Cute, Dorks, Excessive Foul Language, Humor, Kissing, M/M, Pets, Sorry Not Sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-19
Updated: 2017-11-19
Packaged: 2018-03-03 05:36:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2839937
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Remembrance/pseuds/Remembrance
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p> Hinata’s new to the neighbourhood and he has a minor freak out when his cat runs away. Oddly enough… it seems all the cats are being lured to a certain house where a really cute boy lives. Heck yeah!</p><p> (Written in 2014; Rewritten in 2017)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Runaway Fat Cat

**Author's Note:**

> Hey~ So this is the third of four Haikyuu!! oneshots I'm rewriting. I've come back to the fandom after a while away, so I thought it would be cool to rewrite my oldest works, to kind of go back and see where I was so many years ago. My original author's note was "I'm not even sorry" and that kind of still stands. LOL.
> 
> * * *

 The problem with pussy is that it always runs away.   
   
 Those were my dad’s last words.   
   
 He was referring to my mom I think but—y’know—as I’m running through this stupid small town trying to find my stupid ugly-ass fat cat… I can’t help but think of those very words. I mean, it’s kind of true… my cat really does always run away.   
   
 I’m kind of new here, this town, so honestly I have no idea where the frick I’m going, but I gotta keep running! If I keep running and keep calling out my cat’s name, the pussy is bound to return, right? Or something. That’s what I’ve been doing for the past while, I guess. My cat’s never really been an outdoor cat… I lived in the city with my dad before this, so he stayed in our little apartment. But now we’re in the middle of buttfuck nowhere and everyone’s cat is an outdoor cat, so mom’s trying to get pussy to go wild.   
   
 Not like.   
   
 Not like,  _her_  pussy.   
   
 UGH—   
   
 Why am I…??   
   
  _SHE’S MY MOM!?_    
   
 EW.   
   
 Fuck.   
   
 Anyway!   
   
 “Kageyama!” I yell, at the top of my lungs. “You stupid cat… Kageyama!”   
   
 I turn the corner and run down the street.   
   
 “Kageyama!”   
   
 An old lady steps out of the flower shop in front of me, and her head instantly turns to my voice. Her small eyes are wide and she looks at me, worried. Maybe she noticed I’m freaking out? I don’t know.   
   
 “Excuse me ma’am!” I plant my feet together and bow low before looking up. “I’m looking for my pussy, do you happen to have it?”   
   
 She grabs her purse and punches me in the face with it.   
   
 Oh, hey. I’m bleeding.   
   
 I topple down on the street, landing on my ass with a cry. I grab my nose and whimper, “That’s not what I meant!”   
   
 My name is Shouyou Hinata and I’m a fricken’ idiot. But, like, y’know… that’s nothing new, I guess. So – yeah – anyway. Here I am, walking around town, with blood all over my face, calling out the name of my cat. Honestly, this is great, this is exactly how I wanted to spend my Friday afternoon. Perfect segue into a weekend of loneliness since I don’t have any friends yet.   
   
 “Kageyama!”   
   
  _Meow._    
   
 I pause.   
   
 I look around—left first, then right.   
   
 Another meow.   
   
 Except… that one didn’t quite sound like a cat’s meow?   
   
 I turn down the street and see someone—he’s wearing this red jumper, holding a rod of cattail over three kittens. The guy has black hair, dyed blond, with a serious need to touch up his roots. He’s kinda small looking? Kinda cute, though.  
   
 I run over, waving. “Excuse me!”   
   
 He looks up at me and his eyes widen ever so slightly. He drops the rod and, carefully, opens his bag and pulls out some tissues. “Here!”   
   
 I take it with thanks and clean up my face. “Heya, I’m looking for my pussy!”   
   
 “Oh.” He blinks once. “That’s usually in the groin region.”   
   
 “No no, my cat pussy!”   
   
 “Mm.” He picks up the cattail and waves it around, exciting the kittens who try swiping at it midair. “Not one of these?”   
   
 “Nah, he’s a full grown cat!”   
   
 “Really large? A black cat?”   
   
 “That’s the one!”   
   
 “Pretty blue eyes?”   
   
 “Yup!”   
  
 “Kind of always angry?”   
   
 “Yup!”   
   
 “Mm, yeah…” The guy stands up; and, as much as I want to call him small, he’s technically taller than me! Darn. But, hey, at least he’s cute. “He’s in the backyard. All the cats come here.”   
   
 I blink twice, tilting my head, shifting my whole body in the movement. “Why?”   
   
 “I dunno.” He picks up his bag and walks around the house. He walks kind of slow, awkward.   
   
 I take the time to look up, seeing the western-style house. It’s two-storeys, with a cute red roof and white walls. I realise the guy has taken a few steps towards the side of the house and I rush over to follow him. He leads me to the backyard, and my face instantly distorts—There! I see a big cat sprawled out all over the grass, having the time of his life.   
   
 “You shit!” I yell and growl, watching the cat flinch. I run over, and yank him up. “Kageyama.”   
   
 Kageyama just stares at me like he’s never done anything wrong in his life.   
   
 “Don’t try that with me!” I squeeze him in a hug and kiss the top of his head. “You worried me…” I let out a breath and my embrace softens. I look over my shoulder and force a smile. “Sorry about that…”   
   
 “It’s okay.” He shrugs. “I’m Kenma.”   
   
 “Hinata,” I say with a smile. “And this fat shit is Kageyama. Kageyama say hi.”   
   
 Kageyama looks at Kenma, then looks at me.   
   
 “Kenma.” I look back at him. “Thanks again!”   
   
   
   
   
 The problem with those bigger, slower cats is that you would think they don’t go far, right? Kageyama can’t even really walk (he just kinda half-waddles, half-crawls), but the problem is my mom opens the door to let him out when I go to school, so he has the whole day to wander town! I keep telling my mom he’s an indoor cat, damnit—he was born and raised that way. Mom just doesn’t know what to do with pussy! No wonder dad left. Or, er, well, actually mom ran away and threw me on dad’s lap, but whatever—that’s not the point!   
   
 “Kageyama!” I yell at the top of my lungs, “Kageyama!”   
   
 I’m frowning, but as I pass that flower shop, I remember… er… ah geez, what was his name again? Kenny? Koopa? Koko puffs? Karl? Kranberry? Oh… wait, cranberry starts with a C? I don’t know. I’m lucky if I can get C’s on my spelling tests. Carl?   
   
 I try to remember his name as I wander my way through this small town; it actually takes me a little while longer before I hear—   
   
 “Meow,” Koopa says in a way that sounds just like a cat.   
   
 “Kranberry!” I shout, waving my arms wildly.   
   
 Kenny looks up at me and blinks once.   
   
 “Hey Koko Puff.” I grin wide, putting my hands on my hips. “Did you see Kags today?”   
   
 “Kageyama?”   
   
 “Yeah! Did you see him? Is he here?”   
   
 “Mm, yeah.” Carl gives a nod. “He’s in the back… Hinata, right?”   
   
 “Yep!”   
   
 “Kenma,” he offers politely. He stands and leads me to the back again. “I don’t really mind… Most cats end up here. He can stay too.”   
   
 “Really?” I breathe a sigh of relief and my shoulders slump. “I’m really worried about him. He’s not that smart, compared to other cats, you know?” I walk over to the cat in question and drop to my knees in front of him. I rub his back a few times, rubbing him awake. “C’mon, you big dumb.”   
   
 Kageyama lifts his head, eyes peering at me. He shrugs a bit then looks away.   
   
 Kenma laughs—it’s quiet, and… oh wow, kinda cute. Shit.   
   
 I turn to look at him, feeling warm and happy. “S-So, why do all the cats come here?”   
   
 “Mm.” Kenma closes his eyes slowly, blinking, and he tilts his head a little as he looks at me. “I think… it’s because I talk to them.” He shrugs and walks over so he can sit on his knees, in front of Kageyama. He gives a little meow.   
   
 Kageyama looks at him.   
   
 “Cute,” I blurt out.   
   
 “Me or him?”   
   
 “You!”   
   
 Kenma looks at me, and just kinda… nods, you know? As if he has no idea what else to do.   
   
 I look back at Kageyama and scratch his tummy. “So do all the cats just come here?”   
   
 “Yeah.” He shuffles a bit as he pulls out his phone. “People text me if their cat goes missing… because they’re usually here.”   
   
 “Ah! You’re like the pussy finder!”   
   
 Kenma looks at me, and just kinda… nods, you know? As if he has no idea what else to do.   
   
 “Pussy Finder Kenma!” I smile wide and pat him on the shoulder. “Nice!”   
   
 “Don’t… call me that.”   
   
 “Okay!” I scratch the back of my head and laugh.   
   
 “So…” Kenma looks at me, expectantly. I don’t say anything because I don’t know what he expects. He looks at his phone, then at me again. “Do you want to give me your number?”   
   
 “Oh! Yeah! Sure!” I pull out my phone and we quickly exchange contact information. “Thanks!”   
   
   
   
   
 A few days later, Kags goes missing again. Not wanting to run around like an idiot (again), I text Kenma first thing—lo and behold, the Pussy Finder worked his magic and already knew he was there!   
   
 Nice!   
   
   
   
   
 It happens again a day later too!   
   
   
   
   
 One day, when I’m walking home from school, I get a text from Kenma! He lets me know that Kageyama is at his place. I decide to stop by anyway, because I haven’t seen him in a while. He isn’t sitting out in front of his house as I expected, so I look around the steps before I decide to go around the back.   
   
 And there Kenma is, lying down, on his tummy, on the grass next to Kageyama and another cat. He’s picking at the grass, slowly, one blade at a time.   
   
 I put my bag down, and that catches his attention.   
   
 He looks up at me.   
   
 I offer a little wave. “Hiya.”   
   
 While Kageyama actually looks  _disappointed_  to see me, Kenma smiles! He's smiling!   
   
 It’s a soft smile, a gentle smile.   
   
 “Hi,” he says.   
   
 His voice is soft—I mean, uh, it’s always soft but… I notice it more today. It’s nice. I make sure my bag is zipped before I let go of the handle completely. I walk over to them, on the other side of Kageyama, and lay down as well. I pull my fat pussy in for a snuggle-hug. Despite being the little shit he is, my cat always loves snuggling up with me. It’s Kageyama’s only redeeming quality. “What’s up?”   
   
 Kenma looks at me, but he doesn’t say anything for a while. “Oh.” His eyes widen, ever so slightly. “You’re talking to me.”   
   
 I’m lying on my side, smiling like an idiot, looking at him. “Yep.”   
   
 “Hm.” Kenma thinks about the question for a while. “What did you ask?”   
   
 I laugh. “I wanted to know what’s up, with you. How are you?”   
   
 “Mm… Lonely?”   
   
 “Lonely,” I repeat, but my smile is taken aback a bit. I blink. “Well!” I smile again. “I’m here now right?”   
   
 “Not for long.” Kenma looks at Kageyama, then at me. “You always pick up your cat and go.”   
   
 “I don’t mind staying! If that’s not a problem, that is… I mean, Kageyama likes staying too! So if it’s not a problem…”   
   
 “It’s not.”   
   
 “Then… I’ll stay!”   
   
   
   
   
 We never talk much—well, kind of? I don’t think I talk much, but I think… by Kenma’s standards… he’s probably talking a lot! Like, I don’t know how he is with other people, but he’s kind of a quiet guy, so I think he’s talking a lot to me, even if I don’t feel like I’m talking a lot. But! I kind of like that too? It’s like we find a nice little… middle point, between us!   
   
 We never talk much, but I keep going back. I don’t really know why, to be honest… I just like being there. Maybe it’s because Kenma’s the Pussy Finder, and Kageyama’s happy there, but I don’t think that’s entirely it. He – er, Kenma – is just kind of! Really cool! He’s quiet, but… I don’t know. He’s got a lot to say too.   
   
 Ah, whatever, I don’t know what I’m saying: The point is I like being there, so I keep going back!   
   
 I never really think about why too much.   
   
 All I know is it makes me happy and that’s the important part.   
   
 “Going, Shouyou?” asks Kenma, a touch of disappointment in his voice.   
   
  _Shouyou_  – he’s started calling me that, and it makes me feel all funny inside. I think he does it because it doesn’t matter, but I think in a way, because it doesn’t matter, it makes me feel funny? Er? Eh?   
   
 Kenma is still looking at me.   
   
 “A-Ah!” I sit up straight. I give a little sigh and nod. We’re sitting on the wooden steps of his back porch. “I got a test tomorrow, it’s math, and I don’t understand any of it. Like fractions, exponents, numbers? What? I don’t know, the curriculum is different here!”   
   
 Kenma tilts his head, such a subtle movement that I probably would’ve missed it before. “Do you have a tutor?”   
   
 “No… I should probably look for one, though, right? I don’t know… my mom’s talked about it before…”   
   
 “I could…” Kenma stiffens a bit. “Help. Um… maybe.”   
   
 “Help?” I whip my head to look at him. “With math?”   
   
 Kenma gives a small nod.   
   
 Sure enough, Kenma isn’t just the pussy finder, but the X finder too! Anytime the question was like yo Shouyou my man my buddy my pal my friend my dude I need you to find the X—Kenma could help me find it! And sometimes I had to find Y and sometimes I had to use X to find Y or Y to find X and Kenma helped me find all of that stuff!   
   
 And you know, more than just doing the problems, I think I started understanding what was going on like what the question was asking me. Like, conceptually, or whatever, I think I got it. It’s actually so cool! Kenma can break down the info in a way that I can understand it so easily.   
   
 He’s so cool!   
   
   
   
   
 “Oh!” I yell, making both the cats and Kenma flinch. We’re lying down on the grass again and I roll over to be closer to him, beaming. “Guess what!?”   
   
 Kenma’s close, maybe a bit too close. There’s a blush on his cheeks. “What?”   
   
 “I got my math test back today!” I’m practically shaking with excitement. “I actually passed!”   
   
 “Congrats,” Kenma says with a small smile.   
   
 “Thanks to you!”   
   
 “Mm.” Kenma closes his eyes for a moment and rolls onto his back. “You’re the one who took the test.”   
   
 “Yeah, but you helped!” I lean over him. “That means I owe you one!”   
   
 “Not really.”   
   
 “Well, can I do something nice for you?”   
   
 He shrugs, nonchalant. “If you want.”   
   
 “I want to.”   
   
 He opens one eye, looking at me. “Okay.”   
   
   
   
   
 So I don’t really know what I’m going to do for him, and honestly I spent days trying to figure it out. That is until I decide, you know, everyone likes chocolates right? So! I’m going to get him chocolates. Decided! But, the problem is… this isn’t like the city, you know? We’re in the suburbs. There’s no fancy super neat chocolate store, and everything here is crap and Kenma deserves better.   
   
 So, I decide I’m going to make my own chocolate! Sort of. I find a brownie recipe online that was labelled idiot proof and begin mixing the batter.   
   
 “Shouyou?”   
   
 I look up and smile. “Hi Ma’!”   
   
 “What are you doing?”   
   
 “Making brownies! For a friend.”   
   
 “Which friend? You don’t have any friends.”   
   
 “The one who keeps taking care of our cat because you keep letting him out!”   
   
 “Oh, the one who needs touch ups on his roots?”   
   
 “Yeah! But, I was thinking about it and I kind of like his hair like that.” I pour the batter into the pan. “It’s kinda cute.”   
   
   
   
   
   
 “Surprise!” I yell at the top of my lungs.   
   
 Kenma looks up from the wooden steps, blinking.   
   
 “Surprise,” I repeat with less enthusiasm. “Surprise…”   
   
 “What,” Kenma murmurs. He just keeps staring at me. “Surprise what?”   
   
 “Well I made—” I look around and then look at my hands. “Shit! I forgot to bring it with me, one sec!”   
   
   
   
   
 After running back home, getting the brownies, and charging my way back—“So Mom took a huge bite of it, but!” I offer the large brownie tray to him. “Here! Surprise!”   
   
 Kenma blinks, looks at it, then looks at me. “For me?”   
   
 “Yeah!”   
   
 “Thank you…” His smile is small again, extra cute because he’s blushing a little bit. “You didn’t have to…”   
   
 “I know, but just let me be nice!”   
   
 “Mm…” He stands up from the porch and takes the tray. He looks over his shoulder. “Do you want to come inside?”   
   
 “Sure. Your parents won’t mind?”   
   
 “They’re not here.” Kenma turns slightly. He moves to walks up the stairs. He shifts the brownie tray in one arm and uses his other hand to open the front door. He takes off his shoes (as do I) and he walks through the short passage to the kitchen. He places the tray on the counter and looks at me, smiling. “You’re very thoughtful.”   
   
 I grin and rub the back of my head, letting out a little chuckle. “I just like being nice to people who are nice to me!”   
   
 That makes Kenma’s smile widen a little bit more. He looks away, and soon—his eyes seem to be looking at anywhere but me. That’s when I see the touch of pink on his cheeks, except this time it’s kind of red.   
   
 Oh.   
   
 Oh man.   
   
 I jolt in place.   
   
 Does—   
   
 My eyes widen.   
   
 Does the cute Pussy Finder have the hots for me?   
   
 Oh man.   
   
 Oh man!   
   
 “So, uh!” I bounce in place. “Which school do you go to anyway?”   
   
 “Homeschooled,” he murmurs. He takes a seat on the high stool and relaxes a little. “By my tutor. He comes here for a few hours every day… my parents work in the city so… it’s usually just me, and the cats.”   
   
 “And me!”   
   
 Kenma looks right at me; and, although he tries to hide it, his smile becomes wider. “Yeah.”   
   
   
   
   
 I don’t know why, but on my walk to Kenma’s house I smell something nice. I blink and look at the flower shop. I never paid it any mind before (just kind of used it as a landmark to find my way) but another breeze blows some of the nice scent and I perk up. I think about buying some flowers and decorating home. Mom’s not much of aesthetics person, and the place could use a bit of spicing up.   
   
 But then I remember, I’m not heading to my house, I’m going to Kenma’s house (err, yard?) – which kind of feels more like home than my room does.   
   
 I buy a little bouquet they have on sale, white flowers with a few pink roses. Something light and summery, and kinda suggestive that hey hey wink wink nudge nudge I kinda like you but not too like you know your shirt would look great on the floor.   
   
 I wanna give the right vibes.   
   
 This is the person who’s been taking care of my pussy after all.   
   
 When I get to Kenma’s place, he’s sitting on the front steps, with Kageyama in his arms.   
   
 Ah.   
   
 My heart thuds.   
   
 My two favourite people together.   
   
 Kenma looks at me and blinks.   
   
 “Surprise!” I offer the flowers. “I got them for you!”   
   
 Kenma carefully puts Kageyama down and walks over. He takes the bouquet and his cheeks are just like the pink flowers. “Thank you…”   
   
 “You’re welcome!” I grin, but then I don’t. “This is cool, right? Me buying you flowers?”   
   
 “Yes,” he assures, somewhat hiding behind the flowers.   
   
 Again, he leads me inside. He finds a vase for them, saying he knows where his mom keeps them. The glass vase helps bring out the green of the stems too. He adds some water, and thanks me again.   
   
 “You’re welcome!”   
   
 We go outside again, and we sit where he was sitting before. Kageyama sprawls out on our knees. Our arms are touching. Nice. His skin is soft. Nice. He smells good. Nice. I look at him, and he’s looking right at me.   
   
 Oh my god we’re gonna kiss. Oh my god. Oh my god.   
   
 He leans over, and I do too, and I close my eyes, and he does too.   
   
 Oh.   
   
 Our lips meet, softly. For about a second—until I get scared and pull back.   
   
 Kenma looks away, cheeks red.   
   
 I smile—shit, I fucking beam. I couldn’t help but laugh, and Kenma snickers too. “S-So, uh…”   
   
 Kenma, despite his blush, looks at me.   
   
 I swallow hard. “I kinda like you?”   
   
 “I like you too…”   
   
 “Sweet!” I smile and kiss him again, quick, fast, way too short—but it still gives me all these fluttery butterflies.   
   
 Kageyama looks up and then sprawls a bit more.   
   
 Kenma chuckles, and his laugh makes my heart soar.   
   
 So, you know.   
   
 Moral of the story.   
   
 Unlike my dad, I’m happy my pussy ran away, because when pussy runs away—it leads you to Kenma… who, is the, uh, pussy finder…?   
   
 Or something.   
   
 Th-That wasn’t as deep as I wanted it to be.   
   
 But Kenma’s really fricken’ cute and this totally makes him my boyfriend.   
   
 Heck yeah! 


End file.
